Girls' Night Out

so i'm sitting in a booth with three girlfriends, munching on french fries and mozarella sticks and enjoying some refreshing margaritas. anyone who has watched even one episode of sex and the city knows that four women and cocktails means the conversation usually goes from bad to worse. at one point, i referred to a sex and the city quiz, brought to you but that wonderfully addictive "quizilla" thingie on myspace (but, in reality, those quizzes totally blow). after taking the "which sex and the city character are you?" quiz i was informed that i was....drumroll...charlotte. see, here's the proof:


Congratulations! You are Charlotte.

so anyways. lorelei says noooo i think you're more of a miranda. immediately the first thought in my mind was tsk! i'm not miranda. now, the feminist/gender studies scholar in me bristled and wondered why i had such a visceral reaction to miranda.

essentially, miranda is the smart, if mostly cynical, career-oriented and strong-willed woman. who wouldn't want to be a miranda? after six seasons we see miranda ultimately grow, in my opinion, more than any other character. she realizes to stop keeping people at a distance and allow others into her life, she gets over her "no one is good enough" attitude to find a truly wonderful and supportive man, and she turns into the loving mother that we all new was hiding deep down inside. i couldn't help but wonder (pun intended)...who wouldn't want to be a miranda? somewhere in me i shuddered at the notion of being the cynical hard-nosed and powerful woman. do we fear the "bitch" label? but in the end, miranda's edges smooth out. did the writers do justice to her character? did she become a more well-rounded person or are we just supposed to take it to mean that really, in order to grow and mature and be happy, we need a man, a cute baby, and a brownstone in park slope? did miranda sell us out? did she basically disprove the the necessity of the lifestyle she had so adamantly fought for for five seasons?

i don't think so.

i think miranda found happiness on HER terms when SHE was ready. and i admire her for it. of course i'm talking about a fictional character here, but really, we fall in love with books the same way, so hush it. so i'm going to embrace my inner miranda. hell, i'll even embrace my inner carrie, charlotte and (gasp galore) samantha. in truth, i think we love those women because they all represent the conflicting parts of our own selves. just with more money and better fashion sense.

***so in celebration of miranda, i'm going to put some of her classic lines***

Miranda: Smart, yes, sometimes cute, but never sexy. Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.
Carrie: You win men over with your personality?

Miranda: I'm sorry, if a man is over thirty and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out or propogating the species.
Carrie: Okay, well, what about us?
Miranda: We're just choosy.

Charlotte: I just know no matter how good I feel about myself, if I see Christy Turlington, I just want to give up!
Miranda: Well, I just want to tie her down and force-feed her lard, but that's the difference between you and me.

homesick...

there are some things i truly miss about home. home in a tiny town in central florida, a ways off the interstate. i would like to present a blogger's ode to the things i love about the south...

1. people who say "fixinda" - i'm fixinda goto the sto, it's fixinda storm
2. hush puppies and navy beans
3. SWEET tea
4. people who say "sundy clothes" - as in "boy don't get yer sundy clothes dirty!"...or "ooo that's special i gotta wear my sundy shoes..."
5. knowing the difference between dinner and supper and using the terms appropriately
6. sweet tea
7. how everyone walks slow...sauntering, meandering
8. hospitality (my hampton inn had home baked cookies at the reception desk!)
9. sweet tea
10. grits, mmmm grits
11. dirt roads
12. longer vowels..."weeeelll i dunnoooooowww", "ooh nnooooooaaa"
13. people who get excited and promptly say "hhooooooo!!" - "hooooooo that was some good bbq"...or when they get really excited "hhhoooooo weeeee! lookadat!"
14. "hog-gawker" (southern for a big effin storm)

things i don't miss:
1. chewing tobacco and spit cups
2. that guy up thar

currently listening: rachel's "systems/layers" album
currently reading: blogs that are smarter than mine
currently feeling: meh

out walking after midnight...

most new yorkers don't own a car. it's pretty much not worth it.

however.

there are two main things that i think EVERY new york city transplant from a locale in which driving everywhere is vogue and parking too far a faux pas (unless you don't want a parking lot ding) misses two main things: trunk and stereo.

we replace these with the following: totes and ipods.

yes, we schlep. and boy do we ever. bags from target, shopping bags, bags of cat litter...you name it, we schlep it.

but what about those times when you need to go for a drive and belt out some tunes? you know "whoa whoa, you got the best of my love whoa whoa" or "sing us a song your the piano man!"...what do we do without those cathartic adventures?

well, if you are the youngish looking frat/business gent walking behind me on my way home tonight, you just do it anyways...on the sidewalk. but you don't just sing to anything, you sing to FIONA APPLE. that's right. here's this guy, walking down avenue m at 12:20 belting out some fiona "criminal"...evidently, my friends, he's been careless with a delicate man.

our golden boy did not possess a singer's voice however. it was more like joe cocker does a fiona cover record. ouch.

maybe he's practicing for american idol. i'd vote for him, simply for his moxie.

currently listening: damien rice "delicate" and cat power "good woman"

FDA vs. Common Sense: Postscript

Finally! Today the FDA approved over the counter sales of emergency contraception, more commonly known as Plan B. As some of you know, this has been an issue I have worked on at work as well as through research. So this is big news. Previously, the FDA was not approving the drug at the request of the administration (Bushie's administration, of course). God forbid Bush upset his constituents. And yes, that was supposed to be offensive/crass.

Essentially, the story is this:
FDA Scientists: "Yippee, check out this amazing new pharmaceutical development that THE REST OF THE DEVELOPED WORLD is using. Look how well it works!"
Admin Croanies (AC): "Abortion pill!! Death, hell, purgatory, and suffering!"
FDA Scientists: "Um not really. It's safer than aspirin. For real ya'll."
AC: "Bush says no. Politics? Science? Science schmience. We believe in intelligent design."
FDA Higher Ups: "Our hands are tied. Let's ask for public comment."
THREE YEARS LATER...
Hillary: "Ya'll crazy, either vote this thing through on sound science or face a wrath of queen bitchiness ain't none ya'll seen since Bill got his jollies from beret-girl."
FDA Higher Ups: "She's bluffing"
Hil: "Don't make me go Bobbitt on your ass"
FDA Scientists: "Mmmmhmmm, you tell em girl"
FDA Higher Ups:"Ok ok. We approve. But if you are under 18 you're still up the shit creek without a paddle."
The rest of us: "Right, because 18 year olds can't find someone else to get them cigarettes, booze, spray paint, and cold medicine."

So it's a victory. A victory with caveats of course. As my fav bitchy blog "Broadsheet" points out, the US has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the western world. With this approval we are essentially still lacking sound policy to help the young women who need it the most. However, many activist groups have heard the rallying call and will focus their efforts on this unique and vulnerable population.

So seriously folks. Plan B is not an abortion pill. It PREVENTS pregnancy. It DOES NOT HARM an existing pregnancy. Tell women you know, tell young women, friends, and family.

For more information visit www.go2planb.com
or ask me.

Oh, and seriously, that church sign, check it out www.churchsigngenerator.com
I always wanted to drive through the south and take pics of church signs and put them in a coffee table book...apparently i'm not the only one with this brilliant idea...

Currently reading: Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
Currently listening: How to save a life by the Fray

Say it with love...

who is em? and why'd she eat ryo?

battle of the bulge: the most stubborn cat in the world

well now ladies and gents, you knew it wouldn't be long before miss nico graced the pages of my blog. i can't help it. but seriously folks, we've got an issue on our hands.

miss nico is about 2 lbs overweight. now i've been told that a fat cat is a happy cat. but the issue with nico is that her belly sort of rolls over key areas that, well, let's face it, need some cleaning. and until she can clean said areas, i have to clean them. we'll just leave it at that.

needless to say, fattie needs to go on a diet.

but here is the problem. she eats ONLY dry cat food. evidently, this cat food is much higher in calories than moist food. so i thought, well, she's a princess, canned food is more expensive, so of course she'll go for it. only the best for my little girl.

the scene played out like this:
1. here kitty kitty, mmm, smell (nasty) this yummy canned food!
2. with much trepidation nico sniffs and recoils as though she's been zapped, looks at me, meows, walks off.
3. stubborn mama says oh no you don't and over the course of the next two hours attempts to mix in treats, dry food, and eventually smears the gravy on kitty's nose to get her to AT LEAST taste it.
4. cat meows. incessantly. for the next four hours.
5. nico decides, bitch, i'm gonna eat anything and everything i'm NOT supposed to, including tape on boxes, plastic bags, pieces of metal, your laptop charger cord.
6. mama goes to bed. tough love kitty, tough love.
7. kitty wakes mama up in middle of the night (3:45 a.m.) by throwing up plastic that she found god only knows where.
8. mama curses and gives a tablespoon of dry food.

now. repeat this FIVE TIMES. i am on the fifth night of this charade. it's now a battle of wills. and let me tell you, i will not get beat by this tubby little furball.

but i can't help but admire her tenacity. takes after her mama. :)

currently reading: gilead by marilynne robinson
currently listening: not an addict by k's choice

coming soon to a theater near you...

so i am squirming-in-my-seat excited about two movies coming out in september.

"science of sleep" stars my tiger-beat crush gael garcia bernal. maybe it's the vulnerability, the unassuming smile that he flashes, his perfect scruffy face. i have no idea. but i swoon. even though i heard he's a jerk. you know i really hate that whole "he's an asshole" "she's a bitch" celebrity commentary. what do i care really? i'm never going to share a cuppa tea with any of them am i? no, i'm simply going to admire them from afar.

anywho.

science of sleep trailer can be found here: http://wip.warnerbros.com/scienceofsleep/

the second great looking movie is "the last kiss" with zach braff. i don't think he's an asshole. i saw him on charlie rose and he seemd like a stand-up guy. neither here nor there. according to my nifty roomie (NR) this movie is based on an original italian version by the same name. NR is very excited about this version as well because he appreciates the genius of mr. braff. i think i'll watch both and compare, much like i did with dangerous liasons and cruel intentions. only, i hope this works out better.

last kiss trailer can be found here: http://www.apple.com/trailers/dreamworks/thelastkiss/trailer-high.html

exhibit a

this not-so-little creature in the picture below greeted me this morning in the shower.

all i have to say is: wtf.

i mean i've seen some weird bugs, being from florida and all (palmetto bugs anyone?). but what is this thing?! i promptly took a picture so that i could show my friendly neighborhood exterminator. then, i promptly lost all nerve and ability to move and called for my nifty new roommate. his reply "oh shit!" but he maintained all gumption and swatted the hell out of said mystery bug.

exterminator reply: that's a centipede.
my reply: a centipede?! first rats, then pigeons (in my ceiling) and now centipedes! i'm in the city that never sleeps and the city that's always creepy-crawling...

the blog monster

why, you might be asking, have i given in and decided to do it? to blog? well to be honest, sometimes some really crazy shit happens to me here in the big apple. it's all part of the experience, but i thought i'd share it with the world. or at least the five or so people who will read my blog. (you know who you are and i love you dearly).

so here it is. my blog. only time will tell if i'll actually keep it up. we'll see!