so down i go to the vending machine. i get out my crispiest dollar bill. i stand in front of the vending machine, mulling over my choices. mmm cheetos. so as i go to put in my dollar bill i notice this:
[insert tim allen eergggh?]
evidently things choosy moms and choosy grandfathers choose are marked with a little leaf next to their selection number.
hmm..healthy balanced choices, from a vending machine. with the hope and trepidation of a kid in a candy store with a bad report card just waiting to be viewed i scanned back up to D04, my cheetos. oh no. no green leaf. my cheetos are not a balanced choice. you know, this is not what i need dammit! now, on top of eating dinner out of a vending machine i feel irresponsible for not picking the veggie crisps in D05!
well, to balanced choices i say: freck you! (and thanks to a particularly scintillating episode of veronica mars (double har) i know that that is a battlestar galactica euphemism for well, you know).
you know, seriously balanced choices. get with the program. i'm a victim of my culture and if you really want to sway me to push D05 instead of D04 then you have to make some changes. first of all, i need to feel like i have a friend in balanced choices. i need to feel like hey, balanced choices are "cool." i need a marketing incentive. i need...chester cheetah! not this frecking leaf.
tsk. so until i see some real marketing effort i'm going to stick with my cheetos. even if i get a tummy ache and my fingers are orange for a ridiculously long time.
chester:1 stupid leaf:0
currently listening: "your ex-lover is dead" by stars
currently reading: when sex goes to school
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